@KarenGrossEdu I want to share two strategies (hands-on strategies) that I recently used at More than Words, an amazing non-profit organization located in Boston and Waltham, Massachusetts, which works to enable youth success. While the strategies played out differently with different groups and not all groups did all the activities, I think teachers and organizations (yes workplaces too) can use variations of these strategies to enable their students/participants/workers to de-stress and to regain some sense of balance in a world that is filled with many reasons for disquiet. They can even be used in families. Communities too!
Two Strategies:
Connection: We know that when trauma occurs, we disconnect, although our brains are wired for connection. So, any activity that can restore connection has real value. Due to our brain’s remarkable plasticity, we can develop new neural connection pathways. Absent connection, it is hard to trust and to learn and to engage, all key things needed to learn and work and get along with others.
There is no single successful “connection” strategy for all situations but here is one. Everyone gets some jumbo paperclips. The recipients are asked to link the paperclips together. This is easier for some than others. For some, the clips just connect; for others, it is a slower, more deliberate process. Just this phase of the activity is helpful. We are actually doing connection ourselves to build connection. The every act of linking the clips promotes connection. We feel more connected when we connect things.
Then, the group is advised to find ways to connect their paperclip chains with those of others. They can do this in small groups or in one large group. They can use the floor or the walls. They can connect themselves; they can connect furniture; they can create a circle around themselves. At More than Words, one group connected all the paperclips and created a massive heart on the floor. Another group wrapped a column with paperclips and to the best of my knowledge, that connected chain is still there, days after it was created. It looks amazing and just seeing it is a reminder of connection’s value.
Empathy Engines: Another activity, counterintuitive in many senses and not always workable, involves activating one’s mirror neurons, one’s empathy engines. In short, the idea is that if one is struggling and helps someone else, the benefit the person being helped redounds to the benefit of the giver. In other words, we benefit when we help others; it makes us feel better because they (the recipient) mirror their good feelings onto us. Now obviously, if one is deeply distressed (as in being the victim of a massive home fire), that is not the moment to help others.
But, consider the value of sending something or creating something messaging hope and care to those in need. In the More than Words context, Hurricane Ian had just turned its furor on Florida and I gave the youth a metal half-circle frame and said: Make something that we can photograph and make available to those in Florida. Put on sayings, put on words of home, put on feathers. Create home.
What follows is what they created and by its publication in this blog (which goes to almost 100,000 people, I hope those in Florida and other affected regions can see the art created to help them recover. And, for the students, just thinking up phrases of hope — even as they struggle — was powerful. And, some seemed to take the suggestions they were giving to others for themselves as well. They were double mirroring — helping others to help themselves and the act of helping enabled them to absorb the messages of hope.
If you enlarge the image above, you can see some of the handwritten messages. And, while this sits on the floor for a photograph, it is perched on a shelf to message to those in need.
These two strategies, employed in different ways, are not a cure-all for the stress and trauma that permeates our world. But, they will help. For the record, because of a recent personal sadness I was experiencing, I delivered food packets (dinners) to many friends across town over the past several days. In truth, it worked to help me because so many people enjoyed the meal and experienced happiness. In other words, these emapthy activities can take many forms.
Try One or More of Them
Helping reduce stress and move the needle of improved mental wellness even several degrees is beneficial. So, try some of these approaches and share the results; we all would benefit from seeing stress relief in action. Add them as comments or separate blogs. There is enough stress to go around; the more strategies, the better we will all be.
Post Script: A Special Thank-You to the remarkable youth and staff at More than Words. You inspire me.
Karen GrossAuthor, Educator & Commentator; Former President, Southern Vermont College; Former Senior Policy Advisor, US Dept. of Education; Former Law Professor
Two Strategies:
Connection: We know that when trauma occurs, we disconnect, although our brains are wired for connection. So, any activity that can restore connection has real value. Due to our brain’s remarkable plasticity, we can develop new neural connection pathways. Absent connection, it is hard to trust and to learn and to engage, all key things needed to learn and work and get along with others.
There is no single successful “connection” strategy for all situations but here is one. Everyone gets some jumbo paperclips. The recipients are asked to link the paperclips together. This is easier for some than others. For some, the clips just connect; for others, it is a slower, more deliberate process. Just this phase of the activity is helpful. We are actually doing connection ourselves to build connection. The every act of linking the clips promotes connection. We feel more connected when we connect things.
Then, the group is advised to find ways to connect their paperclip chains with those of others. They can do this in small groups or in one large group. They can use the floor or the walls. They can connect themselves; they can connect furniture; they can create a circle around themselves. At More than Words, one group connected all the paperclips and created a massive heart on the floor. Another group wrapped a column with paperclips and to the best of my knowledge, that connected chain is still there, days after it was created. It looks amazing and just seeing it is a reminder of connection’s value.
Empathy Engines: Another activity, counterintuitive in many senses and not always workable, involves activating one’s mirror neurons, one’s empathy engines. In short, the idea is that if one is struggling and helps someone else, the benefit the person being helped redounds to the benefit of the giver. In other words, we benefit when we help others; it makes us feel better because they (the recipient) mirror their good feelings onto us. Now obviously, if one is deeply distressed (as in being the victim of a massive home fire), that is not the moment to help others.
But, consider the value of sending something or creating something messaging hope and care to those in need. In the More than Words context, Hurricane Ian had just turned its furor on Florida and I gave the youth a metal half-circle frame and said: Make something that we can photograph and make available to those in Florida. Put on sayings, put on words of home, put on feathers. Create home.
What follows is what they created and by its publication in this blog (which goes to almost 100,000 people, I hope those in Florida and other affected regions can see the art created to help them recover. And, for the students, just thinking up phrases of hope — even as they struggle — was powerful. And, some seemed to take the suggestions they were giving to others for themselves as well. They were double mirroring — helping others to help themselves and the act of helping enabled them to absorb the messages of hope.
If you enlarge the image above, you can see some of the handwritten messages. And, while this sits on the floor for a photograph, it is perched on a shelf to message to those in need.
These two strategies, employed in different ways, are not a cure-all for the stress and trauma that permeates our world. But, they will help. For the record, because of a recent personal sadness I was experiencing, I delivered food packets (dinners) to many friends across town over the past several days. In truth, it worked to help me because so many people enjoyed the meal and experienced happiness. In other words, these emapthy activities can take many forms.
Try One or More of Them
Helping reduce stress and move the needle of improved mental wellness even several degrees is beneficial. So, try some of these approaches and share the results; we all would benefit from seeing stress relief in action. Add them as comments or separate blogs. There is enough stress to go around; the more strategies, the better we will all be.
Post Script: A Special Thank-You to the remarkable youth and staff at More than Words. You inspire me.
Karen GrossAuthor, Educator & Commentator; Former President, Southern Vermont College; Former Senior Policy Advisor, US Dept. of Education; Former Law Professor