Natalie Mangrum @nattymangrum
Founder and CEO
Maryland Teacher Tutors, Inc.
Parenting and School Behavior
@nattymangrum
Dr. Michael Robinson: In what ways is it possible for “good” parents with “excellent” parenting skills to have children who exhibit bad behavior in school?
Natalie Mangrum: I'm in the nature and nurture camp. However, I believe nurture has a lot to do with whether or not a child becomes a helpful contributor to society. I also recognize that nature is also involved. I have personal relationships with "good" parents who have "excellent" parenting skills yet struggle with badly behaved children. My children have exhibited bad behavior in school at times, despite my husband and I having clear expectations and consequences for those decisions. At the end of the day, the child (who isn't developed mentally and emotionally) is the deciding factor in whether or not bad behavior will be exhibited. I firmly believe children with parents who have poor parenting skills or none at all are at a higher risk of displaying bad behavior because there are no expectations and no consequences, and therefore, no standard.
Dr. Michael Robinson: Should “good” parents/parenting be held responsible for the bad behavior of their children in school?
Natalie Mangrum: In a just society, someone needs to be held responsible for bad behavior. That's how it works. And that is a good and moral thing. In the case of children who misbehave in school, most consequences will end up affecting the parent(s). For instance, if a child uses scissors to stab another child and needs to be removed from that school setting (either temporarily or permanently), it is ultimately the parent(s) who suffers the consequences because they are now responsible for finding childcare or a new school. When the decision is made to become parents and raise a child, that decision is a long-term commitment. Part of that commitment is raising a child to be a morally upright contributor to society. When a child makes poor decisions and behaves badly the parent(s) are often equally affected by the behavior, as they are likely to realize they must have more skin in the game. In other words, that parent is going to make a solid effort to get that child's behavior normalized because it is affecting the family unit.
Dr. Michael Robinson: How can or should educators assist parents who are struggling with the behaviors of their children?
Natalie Mangrum: Communication is key here. Let me explain.
Educators often see children in a light that parents do not. Many times, I found that in the classroom, students would exhibit behaviors that parents had never witnessed and this was troubling to them. But I think many of us can remember acting out in certain ways in school or outside of school that we would not have done in front of our parents. With that said, parents should ask probing questions and get details about the behaviors their children are exhibiting. Don't just listen passively to what the teacher is saying about your child, listen actively: ask questions, make suggestions, ask the teacher for ideas on what they think might work.
Parents should be encouraged to give out consequences at home for behaviors exhibited in school so that there is continuity. Because educators are often managing many students at once, they become comfortable learning what works and what doesn't for each individual student. Likewise, the parent knows the student better than anyone, and both the parent and the educator should work together to come up with solutions (which should include consequences and rewards for bad and good behaviors, respectively).
Dr. Michael Robinson: What should the role of the parent(s) be regarding student behavior in the classroom?
Natalie Mangrum: If the student acts up, the parent should provide consequences.
Bio
Natalie is the founder and CEO of Maryland Teacher Tutors, a private tutoring company that hires certified teachers to go into families homes and provide academic support to K-12 students. In 2015, she founded Maryland Teacher Tutors with 1 teacher, and has since grown to 40+ certified teachers working under her leadership. Beyond work, Natalie enjoys spending time with her husband and two teenage children, trying out new hairstyles, and learning all she can from people with more wisdom and life experience.
Website & Social Media
Website: www.marylandteachertutors.com and www.nataliemangrum.com
MTT Instagram: @marylandteachertutors
Natalie Instagram: @nattymangrum
MTT FB: Maryland Teacher Tutors
Natalie Mangrum: I'm in the nature and nurture camp. However, I believe nurture has a lot to do with whether or not a child becomes a helpful contributor to society. I also recognize that nature is also involved. I have personal relationships with "good" parents who have "excellent" parenting skills yet struggle with badly behaved children. My children have exhibited bad behavior in school at times, despite my husband and I having clear expectations and consequences for those decisions. At the end of the day, the child (who isn't developed mentally and emotionally) is the deciding factor in whether or not bad behavior will be exhibited. I firmly believe children with parents who have poor parenting skills or none at all are at a higher risk of displaying bad behavior because there are no expectations and no consequences, and therefore, no standard.
Dr. Michael Robinson: Should “good” parents/parenting be held responsible for the bad behavior of their children in school?
Natalie Mangrum: In a just society, someone needs to be held responsible for bad behavior. That's how it works. And that is a good and moral thing. In the case of children who misbehave in school, most consequences will end up affecting the parent(s). For instance, if a child uses scissors to stab another child and needs to be removed from that school setting (either temporarily or permanently), it is ultimately the parent(s) who suffers the consequences because they are now responsible for finding childcare or a new school. When the decision is made to become parents and raise a child, that decision is a long-term commitment. Part of that commitment is raising a child to be a morally upright contributor to society. When a child makes poor decisions and behaves badly the parent(s) are often equally affected by the behavior, as they are likely to realize they must have more skin in the game. In other words, that parent is going to make a solid effort to get that child's behavior normalized because it is affecting the family unit.
Dr. Michael Robinson: How can or should educators assist parents who are struggling with the behaviors of their children?
Natalie Mangrum: Communication is key here. Let me explain.
Educators often see children in a light that parents do not. Many times, I found that in the classroom, students would exhibit behaviors that parents had never witnessed and this was troubling to them. But I think many of us can remember acting out in certain ways in school or outside of school that we would not have done in front of our parents. With that said, parents should ask probing questions and get details about the behaviors their children are exhibiting. Don't just listen passively to what the teacher is saying about your child, listen actively: ask questions, make suggestions, ask the teacher for ideas on what they think might work.
Parents should be encouraged to give out consequences at home for behaviors exhibited in school so that there is continuity. Because educators are often managing many students at once, they become comfortable learning what works and what doesn't for each individual student. Likewise, the parent knows the student better than anyone, and both the parent and the educator should work together to come up with solutions (which should include consequences and rewards for bad and good behaviors, respectively).
Dr. Michael Robinson: What should the role of the parent(s) be regarding student behavior in the classroom?
Natalie Mangrum: If the student acts up, the parent should provide consequences.
Bio
Natalie is the founder and CEO of Maryland Teacher Tutors, a private tutoring company that hires certified teachers to go into families homes and provide academic support to K-12 students. In 2015, she founded Maryland Teacher Tutors with 1 teacher, and has since grown to 40+ certified teachers working under her leadership. Beyond work, Natalie enjoys spending time with her husband and two teenage children, trying out new hairstyles, and learning all she can from people with more wisdom and life experience.
Website & Social Media
Website: www.marylandteachertutors.com and www.nataliemangrum.com
MTT Instagram: @marylandteachertutors
Natalie Instagram: @nattymangrum
MTT FB: Maryland Teacher Tutors