Normalizing Self-Care
Dr. LaConti Bryant @LaContiBryant
@LaContiBryant
In year three of a global pandemic, a teacher shortage, and elevating mental health crisis, it is imperative to learn how to normalize self-care in our individual lives, especially as educators. What does self-care look like for most of us? Good question! Charting this journey is a unique endeavor that challenges how one thinks and reflects upon personal experiences.
Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace. Often we are our most prominent critics and tend to be hard on ourselves. Give yourself more grace. Learning to learn oneself is a skill that has to be learned truly. We often sacrifice our time, health, and mental acuity to support others while we go unfulfilled. Let me be transparent for a moment. I reflect on a period during the early years of my teaching career and how I compromised and sacrificed myself to the point I was pouring into others when I honestly did not have anything more to give. At the time, my cousin, who is also a Pastor, and I talked about this level of burnout I was feeling. I will always remember that he told me that there was this word in the English dictionary that would solve all of my problems. I was anxiously waiting because I wanted to know this magical word to get some relief. He said the word was…NO! I instantly froze in shock because I did not expect that. I had never really said no to anyone. I wanted to be there for everyone, even when they were not there for me. Well, I gave it a try. I started saying no. This two-letter word helped me set boundaries and protect my time. It allowed me to replenish and rest. At one time, I got too good at saying no.
Normalize therapy. I write this from the perspective of a Black woman that grew up in the Black community and church. Therapy was seen as taboo. We were supposed to keep what happens at home in the home. No one needed to know our challenges or shortcomings. This has caused many individuals to move through life with unprocessed trauma and unresolved challenges. No one gets a gold star for absorbing trauma and pretending it did not happen or exist. As part of my self-care process, I normalized having a therapist in my life whom I meet with once a week. This has helped me process trauma and experiences I previously glossed over and move on in life without resolving any of them. This journey has helped me see myself in a new light. I have learned how to slow down and live in the present and enjoy it. I have learned how to celebrate the small things that I accomplish while on the journey to working towards my overall goal. I have learned that if I take a day off and do nothing that, the world does not stop. Most importantly, and overall, I have learned how to choose myself.
Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace. Often we are our most prominent critics and tend to be hard on ourselves. Give yourself more grace. Learning to learn oneself is a skill that has to be learned truly. We often sacrifice our time, health, and mental acuity to support others while we go unfulfilled. Let me be transparent for a moment. I reflect on a period during the early years of my teaching career and how I compromised and sacrificed myself to the point I was pouring into others when I honestly did not have anything more to give. At the time, my cousin, who is also a Pastor, and I talked about this level of burnout I was feeling. I will always remember that he told me that there was this word in the English dictionary that would solve all of my problems. I was anxiously waiting because I wanted to know this magical word to get some relief. He said the word was…NO! I instantly froze in shock because I did not expect that. I had never really said no to anyone. I wanted to be there for everyone, even when they were not there for me. Well, I gave it a try. I started saying no. This two-letter word helped me set boundaries and protect my time. It allowed me to replenish and rest. At one time, I got too good at saying no.
Normalize therapy. I write this from the perspective of a Black woman that grew up in the Black community and church. Therapy was seen as taboo. We were supposed to keep what happens at home in the home. No one needed to know our challenges or shortcomings. This has caused many individuals to move through life with unprocessed trauma and unresolved challenges. No one gets a gold star for absorbing trauma and pretending it did not happen or exist. As part of my self-care process, I normalized having a therapist in my life whom I meet with once a week. This has helped me process trauma and experiences I previously glossed over and move on in life without resolving any of them. This journey has helped me see myself in a new light. I have learned how to slow down and live in the present and enjoy it. I have learned how to celebrate the small things that I accomplish while on the journey to working towards my overall goal. I have learned that if I take a day off and do nothing that, the world does not stop. Most importantly, and overall, I have learned how to choose myself.